
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/673958.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Merlin_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Merlin/Arthur_Pendragon_(Merlin)
  Character:
      Merlin_(Merlin), Arthur_Pendragon_(Merlin), Will_(Merlin), Morgana_
      (Merlin), Gwaine_(Merlin)
  Additional Tags:
      Fluff, Angst, Flangst?
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-02-07 Words: 12787
****** Kept Awake with Wolves Teeth ******
by InkandOwl
Summary
     Merlin and Arthur have one of those friendships where they're just so
     comfortable with each other they see no problem in sleeping in the
     same bed together
Notes
     This was supposed to be for a prompt on the kink meme but I followed
     it so vaguely, I apologize to the person that posted it.
See the end of the work for more notes
It’s always around four in the morning that Arthur starts saying really weird
shit that he’s always embarrassed about when he wakes up sometime in the
afternoon. And luckily for him Merlin just snorts into his pillow or rolls his
eyes or opts for smashing his hand against Arthur’s face. This time it comes in
the form of a question.
Merlin in sitting on the floor, his back against the bed while Arthur rips up
bits of paper to sprinkle in his hair. It’s not enough to distract Merlin from
shooting what is most likely a snotty twelve year old on Call of Duty.
“Merrrrlin” Arthur rolls onto his back.
Merlin can’t be bothered to open his mouth and say more than a “hmm?”
Arthur wonders if he has enough time to think of something insightful or clever
to say, but where’s the fun in that really? He knows what he wants to ask.
“What’s it like having sex with a bloke?”
There’s an onslaught of bullets and the screen goes red. Merlin looks at him
through narrowed eyes “What the fuck, Arthur?”
“It’s a simple question! I’m just curious I mean you’re the only gay person I
know and you’re my best mate.” Arthur rolls onto his stomach and flexes his
fingers against the sheets. “C’mon, tell meeee. I’ve known you forever, I used
to take baths with you.”
Merlin snorts and scrubs his hand over his face “We were four, Arthur, and what
does that have to do with my sex life. Besides, how do you know I’ve even had
sex?”
Arthur smirks against his sheets “I was at that New Years party with you last
year.” Merlin’s eyes go a bit wide and his red ears are visible even in the TV
glow. “You hooked up with Gwaine in the bathroom. Oooohhh Gwaiine” Arthur makes
his voice go all high pitch and who really cares that Merlin’s voice is deeper
than his.
“Oh my fucking god.” Merlin mutters and then violently lashes out and smacks
Arthur on the ear. “Why didn’t you tell me, you prick?! How many other people
know?”
The ringing in Arthur’s ear slowly fades and he scowls at Merlin “Like half the
school.” Merlin groans and buries his face in his hands “But only because
Gwaine bragged about how great it was.” Arthur’s not entirely sure why the last
statement comes out a little bitter.
Merlin shuffles around to face Arthur, blue eyes all wide and a picture of
false innocence. “Gwaine said it was great?”
“Fuck off, just answer my question.”
Arthur taps on Merlin’s nose while he seems to ponder the question again.
“Having sex with a man, mmm, well I suppose it’s a bit like having a cock up
your arse.” He laughs like he’s just said the most clever fucking thing and
Arthur groans loudly.
“Thanks” he grits out sarcastically.
Merlin climbs onto the bed and crowds Arthur against the wall “Get over it,
some things you just aren’t meant to know about me.” And with those words
Arthur swallows hard and tries not to think about how he maybe, a little bit
jealously, thinks ‘I should know everything about you.’
This should be the moment when a sane person stops talking, curls up underneath
the cover and fall asleep, but he’s Arthur Pendragon dammit, and it wouldn’t be
a normal night with his best friend if he didn’t continue to push the
boundaries. “Merlin?”
Merlin rubs his icy toes on Arthur’s leg and Arthur flinches “I hope you’re
going to tell me that I get the good pillow tonight.” He says it while burying
his face in the lumpy crap pillow that Morgana left on the bed after she had
taken the matching good one.
The room is fairly quiet except for Merlin’s shuffling around in an attempt to
make some sort of nest befitting of the hibernation patterns of a sixteen year
old boy. Arthur inhales loudly but only to give Merlin fair warning that he’s
going to be speaking nonsense into the air again. “If I was gay would you want
to be with me?”
There’s no answering laugh or a palm pressing his head into the pillow and when
Arthur looks over at Merlin his expression looks a little pained. “Arthur,
don’t”
And this time Arthur knows that he’s crossed something here and tugs Merlin’s
ear with an apologetic smile and swaps out their pillows and tries to fall
asleep.
#
There’s a subtle brilliance to Arthur, but it’s overshadowed by his
overwhelming need to insert his foot into his mouth and act generally prattish,
but Merlin knows it’s there. So it’s unsurprising that he silently presses a
flash drive into Merlin’s palm on Monday morning at school while Merlin stares
blankly into his locker. “What’s this?” he thumbs at the shiny silver top and
Arthur chews at the inside of his cheek.
“It’s the new Shins album, Port of Morrow” he’s got his eyes to the floor and
Merlin’s wanted this album for a while now but Arthur’s been too damn lazy to
make a copy for him.
He’s still punishing himself for asking too many questions that Saturday night
in bed. Merlin huffs out a small laugh and messes Arthur’s hair up with his
free hand. “Thanks, prat.”
And just like that Arthur’s gloominess has been whisked away and he digs his
thumbs into Merlin’s sides making him choke on laughter and kick out at
Arthur’s shins. They don’t have their first class together and Arthur is forced
into sitting next to his villainous step sister, Morgana, who flips her hair
over her right shoulders, decides better of it and flips it back over the left.
“So I’ve been thinking about Gwaine.” She declares before the teachers even
gotten into the room and Arthur rolls his eyes.
“He’s gay, he doesn’t want you ‘thinking’ about him.” He glances over at
Gwaine, looking for all the world like he fell off the cover of a Mills &
Boon’s novel.
Morgana’s laugh is light and airy and so very very misleading to innocent
bystanders. “I imagine you’re talking about the thing with Merlin?”
There’s a stubborn silence between the Pendragon siblings when finally Arthur
swivels in his seat and cocks an eyebrow “I imagine that I am. He made sure
everyone knew how much he got off on it, ipso facto, gay.”
Morgana’s lush red lips are turned up in a smirk “Oooh Arthur, is that
jealousy? Very unbefitting. That means nothing, Gwaine’s into both, also
incorrect use of ipso facto.”
“Stop trying to stir up shit. And it’s not incorrect.” He snaps and spins back
around in his chair.
“Arthur”
“Don’t talk to me” he hisses and surprisingly enough Morgana just huffs out in
exasperation and falls into silence.
Arthur spends the class period vaguely aware of Vivian Abernathy doing her best
to felate a pencil and glancing over at him. It’s distracting and really, she
should work on her subtlety. But Arthur is a little frustrated with how aloof
Merlin’s been and how Gwaine looks like he’s constantly got this stupid little
smirk on his face, and he’s really really frustrated with Morgana sitting in
eerie silence behind him. So when the bell rings and their teacher gestures
vaguely for them to leave he pivots in his seat and gives Vivian a charmed
smile. “Do you wanna go out some time?”
Vivian lights up and Morgana makes the most offended noise she can muster.
Arthur doesn’t have time to care what Morgana thinks of his personal decisions
and anyways Vivian is already chirping out an excited “Yes, I’ll make it worth
your while.”
“Of course you will.” Arthur hoists himself to his feet and Morgana at least
has the decency to wait until they’re out of the classroom to pinch the soft
skin under his arm and reduce him to a stream of curse words.
“What’s wrong with you?” her eyes glint venomously
“Um, I asked Vivian out. And bugger off I don’t have to run my life decisions
past you.” Arthur steels his jaw and Morgana looks seconds from murder.
But her face returns to it’s cool demeanor and she shoulders her bag “Maybe you
should, that way they won’t be so bloody stupid.”
And just like that she’s gone into the wave of students moving through the
hall. Arthur really doesn’t know what the big deal is, it’s one date and really
he’s just looking at for at least a handjob in the back of a theatre or
something of that nature. He moves quickly through the halls to a place where
he’s hoping to get a little bit of reassurance. The art studio.
“Merlin” His voice is maybe just a little bit too loud but Will, the
politically incorrect pervert that Merlin seems oddly fond of waves his hand in
the area of the wash up room.
“Doing that thing… with his… y’know” Will doesn’t look up from the ornate bong
he’s sculpting when he gestures to his head.
“Again? Alright, thanks… and don’t smoke out of that. Chemicals and that sort
of thing.” Arthur doesn’t want it on his conscience if Will dies in an attempt
to get high.
Will sneers at him “I’m gonna put a finish on it, yeah? Piss off.”
Arthur rolls his eyes and makes his way through the paint splattered door where
Merlin has his head shoved under the faucet of the giant industrial sink.
“Merlin, really?”
Merlin looks at him sideways under the stream of running water and smiles
pathetically. “Yeah, I don’t know how this keeps happening.” His voice sound
tinny as it echoes around the metallic basin.
“I do, it’s because you’re the only person in the world who is unaware of their
own limbs.” Arthur steps over to help reach some of the blue paint streaked
through the back of Merlin’s hair. “I need to tell you something.”
“Ah” Merlin fumbles for the faucet and reaches for a paint stained towel. “I
knew it was too good to be true, you just coming for a visit.”
Arthur makes a whining noise in his throat and Merlin turns to him looking like
a wet puppy with his hair all messed up. He gestures for Arthur to come out
with whatever he has to say and Arthur shifts on his feet. “I asked Vivian out
on a date.”
“Arrrthhurrr.” Merlin buries his face in his hands “Jesus, she’s a fucking
idiot why would you ever, ever in your right mind do that?”
“She was sucking on this pencil the whole time in class and giving me looks,
yeah. What was I supposed to do?” Arthur asks frantically, thinking that at
least Merlin can sympathize with the prospect of receiving a blowjob.
“Ask someone else? Warm up your lotion before you wank? Really, anything at all
would be a better idea.” Merlin throws the damp towel at Arthur’s face and
Arthur follows him back into the studio.
“She’s fit though”
“She’s crazy”
Will glances up and flashes Merlin a crooked smile before asking “Who’s crazy?”
Merlin scrunches up his nose “Vivian Abernathy” he says it like the name pains
him.
Will nods slowly but leans against the table and says “But she’s fit”
“See! See, Merlin, maybe it’s a straight guy thing?” Arthur nods at Will who
surprisingly nods back.
“’S true, Merlin, you don’t even like tits, how are you gonna appreciate a good
set of ‘em when you see ‘em?” Will shakes his head as if he’s experienced a
great tragedy and mutters into his lap “Bloke that doesn’t like tits. ‘S not
right.”
Merlin growls through clenched teeth and snaps out “I can appreciate tits, a…
jesus I’m not having this conversation with you two anymore. Have you told
Morgana?” He throws his messenger bag over his shoulder and Arthur trots after
him into the hall.
“She was there when it happened.” He bounces around on his feet all nervous
energy as he seeks his best friends approval and Merlin sighs.
“Alright, you know what it’s fine I get it you want to get off.” He sounds
resigned “Do whatever, I’ll come pick you up when she starts making your
wedding arrangements, just call me.”
Arthur throws his arms around Merlin’s skinny waist “Yaaaay.” He says it
faintly into the side of Merlin’s neck and Merlin can’t fight back the laugh
he’s struggling to hold back. “Hey, will you come over tonight?”
Merlin acts as if he’s contemplating it before he sighs out “Yeah alright, but
only if I get the good pillow.”
And Arthur tugs at Merlin’s ear and walks with him to their next class.
#
It’s nearly five and Merlin still hasn’t come over. Arthur takes to rubbing his
toes mindlessly across the carpet and wondering if he’s done something wrong.
He laughs and it’s short and humorless. Merlin is never really mad at Arthur
despite the countless number of insulting and stupid things he’s done
throughout their friendship. When Merlin had come out to him when they were
fourteen the first person he went to tell was Arthur and of course he had
managed to fuck all of his best friend duties up completely. He winced thinking
about the way he had laughed at Merlin who looked small and defeated sitting
curled up on his floor and realizing he was serious, said “Well if you haven’t
been with a girl, how would you know?” It wasn’t his shining moment. And yet
Merlin still came over whenever Arthur asked, without a question as to why, and
fit himself into Arthur’s too small bed between the wall and his friend.
He hears a knock at the front door and abruptly rolls out of the bed, barreling
out of his bedroom and down the stairs, just barely avoiding a collision with
Morgana. “Slow down, it’s for me this time.” She crosses her arms and Arthur
sucks his teeth unbelievably.
“It’s Merlin, Morgana, come off it.”
Morgana flicks his nose and grins and it leaves Arthur only slightly fearful
“It’s. For. Me” She enunciates each word and pulls the door open to the most
annoying face Arthur’s ever seen.
“Gwaine?” Arthur can only stare at the boy in his doorway before glaring at
Morgana and stomping away to the kitchen is frustration. He fumbles for a clean
glass in the cupboard when he feels a hand on his back and he pitches forward,
smacking his forehead against the wooden door. “Ow” the pain is already turning
to a dull throb and he squints up at Gwaine himself.
Gwaine looks the picture of perfect apology when he says “Sorry, mate, didn’t
think you would startle like that.”
“Yeah well” he presses the heel of his hand to his head, “Morgana wouldn’t
touch me unless it was in an act of aggression, so it took me by surprise.”
Gwaine lets out a quick laugh and flips his ridiculous hair out of his eyes
“Sorry, again. Um… you’re Merlin’s friend aren’t you?” and he has the gall to
look nervous.
“I’m his best friend” Arthur corrects him, “Why, Gwaaiiinnee” he draws his name
out sarcastically and the smirk on Gwaine’s face doesn’t even falter. He
probably thinks Arthur is vibing with him, or joking, or fucking… whatever
idiots like Gwaine do.
“Alright, that’s cool I was just going to ask how he’s doing.” He says easily
and before Arthur can speak his front door is open and Merlin is stumbling
through yelling out
“Arthur! Stop being a slut and answer your phone when I… oh shit, Gwaine…
I…hi.”
There’s a faint ringing in Arthur’s ears from trying to comprehend everything
that’s happened in the span of five minutes, while Gwaine puts on that shiny
smile and saunters, fucking saunters, towards Merlin. “Merlin, I was just
asking Arthur about you, it’s been a while.” Every word sounding like the most
suggestive thing Arthur’s ever heard and when he sees Merlin blush and stumble
on his words he’s sure he’s going to have to kill a small animal later to feel
better. He feels something coiling angry in his stomach while Gwaine runs his
thumb over Merlin’s cheekbone and Merlin is staring back at him with those wide
blue eyes, biting lightly on his plump bottom lip, his black hair in perfect
disarray from the wind and…oh. Arthur makes a firm decision to sleep with
Vivian as soon as possible, he’s been out of commission for too long and is
looking at his very male best friend like something he would very much like to
fuck. Gwaine leans down and whispers something into Merlin’s ear that makes his
eyes go wide and take a slight inhale and Arthur abandons the idea of getting a
glass of water anymore.
“Yay, reunion over, Merlin come on.” He wraps a hand around Merlin’s wrist and
sees Morgana still standing by the front door and there’s that smirk again.
When they get to Arthur’s room Merlin drops onto the floor with a great sigh
and looks up at Arthur through his lashes. “Mmm I really like Gwaine. It was
good to see him again.”
There’s a nasty comment threatening to escape from Arthur’s throat and he knows
he can reduce Merlin to a hurt wreck and Arthur gets this terrible thought
wondering if he could make him cry. When Merlin gives him a playful little
smile Arthur has to sit down and press the heels of his hands hard into his
eyes. There’s a shuffling sound of Merlin pulling himself across the carpet and
he wraps his slender fingers around Arthur’s wrists lightly and says “Arthur,
what’s wrong?”
His eyes are burning but he just shakes his head and taps at the scraped up
bump forming from the cupboard door “Head just hurts, that’s all”
“Do you want me to get some ice? What happened?”
Arthur shrugs and tells him “Your boyfriend scared me and I hit my head on the
cupboard.”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Arthur.” Merlin’s tone is cold and Arthur looks up to
see him watching him with narrowed eyes.
The angry creases between Merlin’s eyebrows are so distracting that Arthur
presses his thumb against them and forces out a cheerful laugh saying “It’s a
joke, Merls, I’m only joking.”
Merlin rolls his eyes and swats at Arthur and just like that they fall into
their comfortable back and forth.
#
They don’t stay up as late as they do on the weekends and when they’re both
yawning and verging on delirious, Arthur shucks his shirt off into a heap of
dirty laundry. “Maybe I’ll sleep naked tonight.” He says in mock seriousness.
Merlin is a lump of comforter on the bed but Arthur still hears his “Ew, no”
and laughs when he lays on top of Merlin who lets out a muffled cry of
“Noooooo”
Arthur rolls to his side of the bed squishing Merlin into the wall a little,
who reaches out from under the blanket and places a smack on his bare chest. He
pokes his head out and Arthur tries not to think of him as a woodland creature
when he wrinkles his nose and says “Why is your skin sticky?”
Tucking himself under the covers he tells him “I was sweating”
“Gross” Merlin replies but there’s no real disgust behind his voice only
amusement.
They lay in a comfortable silence, Merlin’s breathing soft and even next to him
and Arthur can feel it in little puffs on his neck. This started when they were
three, this routine of falling asleep together, and it feels like a tradition
that really matters. Sometimes his father would try to broach the subject of
stopping when Merlin goes home. He says things like “Arthur, I think you’re
getting a little old for sleepovers”, and “You know Merlin is like a son to me,
but I hear he’s a bit, well, you know.” There’s a moment when Arthur looks up
from his coffee mug and grits out “a bit what?” Uther pinches the bridge of his
nose before composing himself and replies evenly “You know what, Arthur, and
people will talk. And you should be a little worried he might try something.”
Arthur leans back in chair and calmly tell him “I’ll try my best to keep Merlin
from attacking me. Maybe I’ll just keep pepper spray under my pillow, yeah?”
They never talk about it again. Arthur knows this will end one day but he’s not
strong enough to deal with that thought now.
He turns his face towards Merlin. “Hey M?”
Merlin starts giggling and shoves his face in the pillow to stifle it “Oh god,
I hope it’s a good one tonight.”
Arthur snorts and shakes his head, linen sheets scraping roughly against his
face. “I just… I don’t… just this okay?”
Merlin opens an eye “What the fuck are you on about?” he asks, but suddenly
Arthur’s fingertips are dancing feather light across his face. Arthur makes a
choked off noise that Merlin knows are words being forced back and Arthur’s
nose nudges against his. They do this dance for what feels like a lifetime for
Merlin, his heart stuttering rapidly in his chest while he waits for Arthur’s
next move. When Arthur finally kisses him it’s light and nervous and he moves
his lips slowly against Merlin’s and he brings his hand under the covers to
curl around his hip. Merlin can’t help the small moan that escapes because he’s
been dreaming of this since he was fourteen, been laying in his room on nights
he’s alone with his hand curled around himself and “ArthurArthurArthur”
tumbling from his lips when he comes.
Then it was over and Arthur was moving back to his side of the bed, hand
slipping off of Merlin’s hip. Merlin tries to focus on him in the darkness,
only making out his profile and he feels dread pool inside his chest. He thinks
‘This is the end of our friendship, Arthur’s never going to talk to me again,
he probably thought it was a joke and he heard me moan knew how much I wanted
it and…’
“Shut up” Arthur tugs his ear “You’re thinking I know you are. Just go to
sleep, nothing’s changed.” His smile his bright even in the dark and Merlin
manages to nod his head and let Arthur ruffle his hair. Arthur’s not panicking,
not shoving Merlin off the bed and telling him this was a big mistake –but he
said “nothing’s changed” –and somehow that felt so much worse.
#
Outside the art studio is a stretch of crumbling cement that leads to the
massive kiln, that is really only used for students to shirk going to class.
It’s where Arthur finds Merlin the next day, sitting on the cement next to Will
who has a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. As Arthur walks up to them
Will stamps his cigarette out and tucks it behind his ear for later, muttering
“dick” at Arthur and walking away. Merlin snickers and Arthur puts his hands
out.
“What the fuck?” he looks after Will
Merlin leans back on his elbows, a smug looking grin on his face “He hates you,
mate.”
“Yeah, I got that, why?” Arthur rocks forward on his toes a little.
Merlin shrugs “I dunno, just told me he thinks you’re a cunt.” He says it so
easily and when Arthur just stares at him Merlin sits up and casts his hands in
front of him in mock surrender saying “I didn’t say anything to him, he came to
that conclusion on his own.”
Arthur rolls his eyes and sits down next to Merlin. “I don’t know why you hang
out with that chav.” He grumbles
“Your classist” Merlin says it with a little smirk on his face.
“I hang out with you.” He says it like it’s a favor he’s doing for society by
hanging out with him and it makes Merlin laugh.
He bumps his shoulder against Arthur’s and mutters back “Yeah, well, community
service and all that.” The air is getting chilly and it kicks up a little bit
around them, prompting Merlin to zip up his hoodie. “Want to go to The
Cornerstone with me tonight?”
Arthur shakes his head and digs the toes of his shoes into the dirt in front of
them. “Can’t, I have a date with Vivian tonight.” And if Merlin gets a little
tense next to him, he pretends not to notice. Arthur runs his hand over the
back of his neck and admits “I don’t really want to go. On the date with her I
mean.”
“Then don’t” Merlin says it like it’s so easy.
“But I want to get laid.” He continues.
Merlin gets to his feet and stretches, popping his back in a few places and
nods “Yeah that, forgot. I’ll just hang out with Morgana and Gwaine.”
Arthur swallows hard “You interested in Gwaine?” he has to ask, keep needling
at this subject, only because he can feel it that he’ll get something out of
Merlin here.
“You’re a prick.” Merlin laughs and shakes his head “Gwaine and Morgana are
like –a thing now.” He turns on his heels and walks away from Arthur, the air
suddenly feeling heavy and thick around him as he watches a couple of art
students make out behind the kiln. He scrapes his shoes against the cement and
makes the decision to go find Vivian.
#
The date is one of the more disastrous ones in –well not just Arthur’s history
–definitely the history of everyone. Vivian spends most of her time on her
phone texting probably everyone and it’s a small mercy that she suggests they
go back to Arthur’s before they even make it to the theater from the
restaurant.
Morgana, Gwaine, and Merlin are in the kitchen slinging flour at each other and
the only acknowledgement Arthur gets is Morgana making a rude gesture at him.
He doesn’t have the time to stand about long because Vivian is pulling him up
the stairs, pulling her shirt off before they even get to his room.
She’s a messy kisser, and it feels more like a personal challenge to see how
far she can get her tongue down Arthur’s throat. When she backs Arthur up
against the bed he hurriedly pushes her away spluttering out “Mmm not the bed
–it’s not –um the sheets, not washed.”
Vivian watches him cautiously for a moment before she opts for shoving him down
into his computer chair.
In the end it’s unsurprising that Vivian fucks like she’s auditioning for porn
and with the way she’s yelling as she rides him in the chair, Arthur has to ask
a few times if she’s alright. Eventually she just shoves her hand over his
mouth like he’s the one screaming down the house and Arthur hears the thudding
of footsteps outside and Gwaine yelling “Ooooo Arthur” in the girliest voice he
can muster. There’s a collection of laughing and even Arthur has to bite back a
smile that’s fighting to make an appearance. Even when Morgana says rather
loudly “Someone needs to get that girl a muzzle.” Vivian doesn’t notice or just
chooses not to acknowledge it.
She has the most terrifying orgasm Arthur’s ever stood witness to and once she
recovers she pulls herself off of him before he’s even gotten the chance to
come. “That was fun.” She kisses him lightly as she pulls her skirt up “I’ll
see you in class. And you know, call me if you ever want to do this again.” She
offers up a dramatic wink and leaves him alone. In his room. In the dark. With
an erection.
Arthur covers his face with his hands and mutters out a tired “Jesus Christ”.
He pulls off the condom and tosses it into the bin by his desk deciding that
he’s going to at least give himself a good wank tonight. For being such a great
sport and all. He wraps his fingers around his eager cock and strokes himself
slowly at first, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the
chair. He can’t bring himself to think about Vivian, he’s sure he’ll lose the
moment if he does. Instead Arthur lets his own subconscious take the wheel as
he stretches his legs out in front of him.
He’s entirely unsurprised when the only image he can muster up is messy black
hair and wildly innocent looking blue eyes. He thinks of three freckles in a
row across a smooth pale shoulder blade and pressing a kiss against them.
Arthur can feel his climax building and his breath catches at the thought of
quiet little gasps falling from those bowed lips that are usually calling him a
prat with familiar fondness. His orgasm shudders through his whole body and he
can’t hold back from stammering out “nnn god, Merlin”.
There’s a moment of Arthur staring up at his ceiling, heart stuttering wildly,
before he wipes his hand off on his discarded shirt and pulls on a pair of
pajama pants. Stumbling into the hallway, Arthur thinks he might be bordering
on hysteria and when he gets downstairs it’s only Morgana and Gwaine playing
cards on the living room floor. Gwaine laughs when he sees Arthur and shakes
his head and Morgana flicks a card in his direction yelling “God damn it
Arthur, never bring that thing back here ever again.”
“She left before I finished” Arthur says with a hefty sigh and Gwaine laughs
harder rolling onto his back and even Morgana smiles a little. “That was the
single scariest experience of my life.”
Morgana gestures for him to sit down with them and she deals out his own pile
of cards. “Good, I’m glad it was terrible for you. Serves you right.”
Arthur lets out a humorless laugh and says “I had a nice time with myself
afterwards though.”
“Good man” Gwaine nods at him “Be your own best friend is what I always say.”
There’s a companionable silence as they all pool in their bets of miscellaneous
change and office supplies that had been scavenged from around the house when
Arthur finally ventures to ask “Where did Merlin go?”
Morgana gives him a look that’s almost pitying “Home.” Even Gwaine has his gaze
in his lap “Just –don’t call or –maybe –just wait to talk to him tomorrow. Been
a long day, Arthur.”
And just like that Arthur feels hollow and tired
#
Arthur finds himself dwelling downstairs hours after Morgana and Gwaine
disappear into her room and he finds he’s a little embarrassed at Morgana’s
ability to use discretion when canoodling with the opposite sex. Or maybe it’s
because she chooses better bed partners. He keeps himself perched up on the
kitchen counter holding his phone so tightly his knuckles white. In case Merlin
has to call.
“Hey”
Arthur jumps and falls off the counter, looking up at Gwaine with his sleep
rumpled hair. “Can you stop doing that? I don’t know make noise or something
when you’re coming around corners.”
Gwaine laughs and helps Arthur to his feet “Sorry, I’ll invest in a bell
collar.” He reaches for a cup “You’re up pretty late.”
“Uh yeah I guess. Couldn’t sleep you know um.” Arthur focuses on a blank spot
on the wall above the calendar “wind’s loud.”
Gwaine laughs and slaps Arthur’s shoulder “Wind’s loud? Oh, Arthur, you need to
work on your excuses. I mean I know you don’t like me, but give me more credit
than that.”
Arthur forces himself to look at Gwaine and says so quietly that Gwaine barely
hears him “I don’t –not like you –it’s. You’re sleeping with my sister. It’s
biological instinct. Protectiveness.”
“Arthur” Gwaine is smiling but it’s softer now, more of a quirk of his lips
“She’s your step sister, there’s nothing biological about you two. And I’m not
sleeping with her. Well, I mean I’m sleeping next to her but we haven’t really
done anything yet. I like her.” He says the last words with such earnest “I
want this to be a serious thing.”
Biological or not, Arthur can’t help the warm feeling he gets at the idea of
someone taking care of Morgana. Emotionally and all that. “Well, I’m glad. I
was wrong about you, I thought you were sort of a slut.”
Gwaine grabs a cup for Arthur as well and starts opening cabinet doors until he
finds the liquor. “Sometimes, I guess I am. This is about Merlin isn’t it?” he
pours Crown whiskey into their glasses and sighs. “I like Merlin you know, I
wasn’t using him or anything. He’s lovely and fun and I wanted to make him feel
good.” He drinks his whiskey like it’s water and smacks his lips when he’s
done. “I still want him to be happy.”
Arthur stares into his glass and watches the liquid swirl around. He swallows
hard against nothing. “He’s my best friend. Since we were little kids he’s
always been there. I just want to keep him safe.” He hates how shaky his voice
gets.
“Okay” Gwaine nods but his expression is sad “yeah, take care of him then. He’s
someone who gives away his heart completely. Best you look after that.” He
clinks his empty glass against Arthur’s and claps him on the shoulder before
leaving the kitchen, and Arthur, behind him.
#
There’s only so many places Merlin can hide around campus and Arthur is so
determined to find him, he’s surprised when he turns up in the most obvious
place. Shoving books into his locker. Arthur moves up quietly next to him and
taps Merlin’s shoe with his. Merlin looks at Arthur warily and puts on a pained
smile “Hi, Arthur.”
“You’re avoiding me.” Arthur does his best to imitate his dad’s serious
business face but ends up looking like he’s trying to be seductive.
Luckily Merlin knows what he’s going for, he’s seen this attempted enough
times, and he frowns “I’m not avoiding you, it’s just been a busy day.”
“Merrrliinn” Arthur whines when Merlin tries to walk away, grabbing his wrist
and pulling him back “I’m sorry about last night with Vivian, I know you don’t
like her and I shouldn’t have gone on the date.” Merlin still doesn’t look
entirely convinced. “If it makes you feel better she left before I could
finish. Alone in my room with a hard on. Morgana knows.”
And yes, there it is, Merlin tries to stay serious but ends up snorting and
nodding his head “That sort of does make me feel better actually.”
“I knew it would, you love feeding off of my anguish.” Arthur sticks his
fingers deep in Merlin’s hair and tugs his head both ways “So you should stay
over tonight.”
Merlin sucks his teeth and flicks Arthur’s nose “Ew, and sleep on that bed?
Only if you’ve burned the sheets.”
Arthur lets his hands fall to his side and suddenly feels very serious “No, I
didn’t sleep with her on the bed. The chair, but. She didn’t touch the bed.”
There’s something that fits into place then and Merlin nods. “Yeah, alright. I
have to get to my Physics exam but I’ll be over around five?” his voice is
quiet and careful and Arthur smiles.
“Five is great. I borrowed the Evil Dead trilogy from Percy so we can watch it
tonight.” Arthur turns to walk with him to his class, even though his is on the
other side of campus. “By the way, I sort of became kind of friends with Gwaine
last night.”
Merlin’s eyes grow wide and disbelieving. “No way, you were so anti-Gwaine
yesterday, what happened?”
It’s hard to miss the accusing tone in Merlin’s voice and he wrinkles his nose
in offense. “We played poker and then he drank whiskey in my kitchen with me.
And he told me that he wasn’t using you that night when you guys –you know.”
Merlin covers his hands with his face and lets out the most pained groan
Arthur’s ever heard. “Why did you have to bring that up?”
“I didn’t bring it up! Gwaine did.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well he did, he wanted me to know that he cares about Morgana and that he
cares about you. Said he thinks you’re lovely and he wanted to make you feel
good that night.” Arthur smirks at him and Merlin shoves him hard. “Are you
embarrassed, Merlin?” he’s laughing and Merlin grits his teeth.
“Yes I am all thanks to you.” He narrows his eyes and Arthur laughs again.
“Gwaine, Merlin. All thanks to Gwaine. He brought it up, remember?” he stops
outside Merlin’s class. “See you tonight.” He’s still laughing when Merlin
calls him a colorful array of things and leaves him in the hall.
#
“This is so violent.” Arthur mutters, twizzler hanging out of his mouth.
“I dunno, I really like the chainsaw arm.” Merlin laughs as gallons of fake
blood shoot across the screen. “Maybe I’ll get one when you know, the zombies
come and all. Would you do that for me?” He glances over at Arthur “Cut off my
arm so that I could put a weapon there instead?”
Arthur laughs and shakes his head “No, never, I would fuck it up and cut an
artery or something and you would bleed out before we could get anything on
there.”
Merlin hums and nods in agreement. “I’ll just have to use my deadly fists.”
Arthur doubles over with his laughter, pulling the sheets off of Merlin in the
process and Merlin growls and pulls back.
“Fuck you, I’m lethal as hell.” He’s laughing when he says it, while Arthur
just shakes his head. He yawns and shoves Arthur off of him saying “Bed bed bed
sleep. Move, fatty.”
The TV is still on, playing the DVD menu and Arthur can only bring himself to
mute it because he rather likes the flickering lights but fuck listening to
screeching horror movie music on a loop. “So Vivian…”
“Don’t tell me” Merlin throws his arm over his eyes “You know –girls, yucky.”
Arthur laughs “You love girls. You have so many friends that are girls I’m
surprised you haven’t synced up to their periods yet.”
“Oh, but I have.” Merlin nods
“I was going to say that Vivian told me today that she thinks we should be
friends with benefits. I told her I was going to pass and then she told me I
have a small dick.” Arthur lets out a dramatic sigh and Merlin laughs a bit
hysterically.
“That’s brilliant.” His giggling tapers off and he adds “But sorry about your
small dick and all.”
Arthur hums in appreciation and listens to Merlin’s elbows and knees bang
against the wall as he tries to move around. He finally settles on his back and
Arthur turns to face him, watching vibrant splotches of red and green flicker
across Merlin’s pale skin from the television. He’s busy mapping out his
profile when Merlin clears his throat, eyes still closed and says “I know
you’re looking at me, and I’m going to stop you now before you ask me if I’ve
ever had a sex dream about my mom or something weird.”
Arthur smirks “Hunith’s a babe.”
“Ew” Merlin turns to look at Arthur with intense seriousness “You’re ruining my
night.”
“Then mission accomplished.” Arthur replies but brings his hand up to run it
softly over Merlin’s fingers, offering up a comfortable smile to Merlin, who’s
looking at Arthur like he’s afraid of him. Arthur tugs on Merlin’s wrist and
pulls him across the tiny amount of space left between them on the bed and
settles his hand on the smooth skin of Merlin’s neck. Merlin still looks so
damn terrified, and like hell that’s going to work out for Arthur, so he
presses an open mouthed kiss against his lips. It’s not like the soft kiss that
could have been passed off as friendly that they had shared before. This time
Arthur runs his tongue along Merlin’s bottom lip and when Merlin gasps, he
presses inside. He feels a sweet warmth throughout his body when Merlin wraps
one hand around the back of his neck and the other pulling his hips in closer.
It’s the delicate little noises that Merlin makes and the way he curls himself
into Arthur that gives Arthur the bravery to reach down and run his hand over
Merlin’s hard length through his boxers.
Merlin moans into Arthur’s mouth and curls a fist into the material on the
front of Arthur’s shirt, breathing him in like a man drowning. “Arthur” Merlin
can barely get his voice to function so he says it again louder “Ah –Arthur,
stop, stop.” He manages to push Arthur away despite his body’s protests and
tries to bring his breathing to a normal pace.
“What’s wrong? I thought this would feel good.” Arthur looks so unsure of
himself that Merlin shakes his head and lets out a breathy laugh.
“No, it does. Feel good, Arthur, it feels good, just. Why are you doing this?
You’re –well –straight.” He gestures between them and Arthur smiles weakly.
He kisses the palm of Merlin’s hand and says “I know but you seem really –um,
upset lately. And you’re my best friend and I care about you. I just want to do
this for you.” His voice is shaky and Merlin makes a pained noise in the back
of his throat. His eyes feel heavy with the threat of tears and he looks down
to where Arthur has his fingers tangled up with his.
Of course, only Arthur and his misguided idea of taking care of his best friend
is the worst possible thing he could be doing for Merlin. But Merlin thinks
that he may be a bit of a masochist when all he can think is ‘This might be the
only way I can have him’. He looks over at Arthur, all wide blue eyes and
golden hair messy where Merlin had pushed his fingers through it only moments
ago and sighs. “Yeah” he says faintly “Yeah alright”.
They become a tangle of limbs again as Arthur kisses him until Merlin’s cock
grows hard with interest again and once Arthur pushes his hand down Merlin’s
pants it’s embarrassing how fast he comes.
With Merlin pliant and sprawled out on his back, Arthur pushes his own pants
down and straddles his friend. His fingers play at the hem of Merlin’s shirt
for a while before he pushes it up and yanks it over Merlin’s head. Arthur
allows himself to run his hand over Merlin’s flat bare stomach a few times
before he leans forward and buries his face in Merlin’s neck, fisting his cock
roughly. When Merlin presses a kiss to Arthur’s ear and whimpers his name,
Arthur’s body goes tense with his release, streaks of come painting Merlin’s
skin.
He uses his shirt to clean Merlin off and collapses next to him. “Was it good?
I’ve never done that before.” He taps his fingers against Merlin’s arm and he
yawns and tells him “Yeah, that was really good” in a sleepy voice as he curls
into Arthur’s side.
Arthur never quite gets to sleep and he listens to Merlin’s even breathing in
the pale light of the early morning. He runs his hand over soft black hair,
unable to help himself, and presses a light kiss to his eyebrow, Merlin never
stirring from sleep. Arthur thinks he’s never felt this safe as he runs his
thumb down the inside of his best friends wrist.
#
Merlin leaves long before Arthur can even comprehend that it’s the morning,
apparently having dressed so quickly he left behind his boxers and socks, and
the DVD menu is still going on a loop.
Arthur watches the screen in a daze, wondering if anyone would question him if
he took a sick day from school. He’s tired, so so exhausted and it’s absolutely
freezing in his room which looks grey and washed out. Arthur looks over at his
curtains and wonders if they’re the culprit for making his room look like a
mausoleum at this hour. He vows to take them down today and maybe put up
something nicer. Something blue.
Stuffing Merlin’s things into his bag, he pulls on a pair of pants and a
crumpled shirt, not even bothering to clean himself off from last night. His
underwear are stuck awkwardly to the side of his leg but he hardly notices as
he slings his bag over one shoulder and makes his way down the stairs as if
he’s heading to school.
Morgana is long gone, having left early to walk with Gwaine, and Arthur is
thankful for the small mercies. He turns instead towards the train tracks and
settles on making a visit to his friend Tristan.
Tristan was an enigma all on his own, having graduated by the time he was
fifteen and getting a degree in electrical engineering by the time he was
seventeen. He scored a job making almost as much as Arthur’s father did, and
instead of using it to become a greedy prick, he married his long time
girlfriend, Isolde, and moved them into a modest sized house on the outskirts
of the city. The best thing about Tristan was that he never judged, only acted
like the town Buddah whenever anyone had a dilemma.
It took Arthur thirty minutes of cutting through residential areas and throwing
himself over peoples backyard fences before he saw Tristan sitting on the hood
of his beater car, Isolde curled up by the tire clipping her toenails, and –was
that Will? So much for a heart to heart with his friend. “Oh wow, Wart?”
Tristan slid off the hood, pulling his plaid pants up to cover his ass crack
and threw and arm around Arthur’s shoulder. “It’s been a lifetime, mate, how
the hell have you been?” Isolde looks up from under her curtain of long blonde
hair and gives him a coy grin.
“What are you doing here, Pendragon, shouldn’t you be in school?” Will flicks
the ashes of his cigarette in the general direction of Arthur.
“I could ask the same about you.” Arthur snaps back and Will puts on his most
hideous scowl.
Tristan swats Will’s cigarette out of his mouth and laughs as it rolls down the
driveway “Play nice, Will. Wart’s good people.”
“Why do you call him Wart, then, that’s a shite name.”
The silence spans across them awkwardly and a train rumbles distantly before
Isolde taps the tiny metal nail clipper against the cement, knocking loose
stray toenails and declares. “Because why not? It’s perfect. All the best
nicknames are just shitty insults given with love.”
Tristan, pleased with his wife’s response, pulls Isolde into him and kisses the
top of her head. “It was something about your name or something like that. Your
mate Merlin came up with it ages ago I think.”
Arthur swallows and nods “Yeah something like that.”
“Yeah alright, well, still stupid.” Will is starting to sound like a petulant
child the way he is rattling on and on, finding new things to snap at Arthur
about and Isolde slaps him hard across the face, the sound of it ringing across
the yard. Will shrugs, bringing his hand to his face, and Arthur can see him
admitting defeat with a single withering look shot his way. He glances back at
Isolde and puts his hands up flippantly.
Tristan ushers everybody inside and disappears to the kitchen to put on the
kettle. Will wedges himself onto the couch next to Isolde. Arthur is torn
between following Tristan into the kitchen and putting himself in the armchair
next to the couch. Will watches him carefully and before Arthur can say
anything to defend his mindless standing around he coughs loudly. “Listen,
alright, I was a prick. You’re a prick too, but I mean –yeah.” He nods to the
chair “Just sit down I won’t attack.”
Arthur collapses into the chair, looking at Will with a tired grin. “How do you
know I’m a prick you’ve never said more than four words to me at one time.”
“Well, I just know.” Will grumbles and Isolde laughs wildly.
“You guys are funny. Wart, you still seeing that girl with the pretty smile?”
She leans her elbows against her knees. Arthur raises his eyebrows at her in a
way that is meant to portray ‘which one?’ Isolde stands to help Tristan with
the tea mugs and nods her head “You know, the one that was too nice for you,
wore sundresses.”
“Ah, yes, Gwen.” Arthur sinks himself as far as he can into the fading
upholstery. “No, no, we’re not together anymore. Figured out for herself she
was too good for me.” He offers up a self-depreciating smile, then shrugs.
“Also met Lance.”
Tristan drops himself down onto the carpet, “Lance is a hard act to go up
against. I mean, I might even leave Isolde for Lance if the opportunity came
up.” He winks at Isolde who just shakes her head with an amused grin.
“Anyway, he’s too busy fucking Merlin.” Will has his face shoved into the arm
of the chair, his eyes peeking over the top to see if he’s ruffled Arthur.
“That’s great, he’s a good kid.” Tristan drums his hands against the coffee
table.
Arthur glares harshly at Will, mug balanced dangerously on his knee. “There’s
nothing with me and Merlin.” He grits out “Why would you say something like
that?”
Will rolls his eyes, “It was a joke, Arthur. Didn’t think you would get all out
of sorts from it.”
Arthur shifts in the recliner, Tristan and Isolde sitting in awkward silence
next to each other while Will sucks on his teeth loudly. “Just thought you were
making fun of Merlin, is all.” He amends quickly.
Will sits up. “No, mate, just fun, I do it to Merlin all the time. He usually
laughs though.” He sounds genuinely sincere and Arthur offers up a relaxed
smile.
“Yeah, alright.” He mumbles and Tristan shifts loud enough to garner attention.
“So Wart, we were just telling Will before you showed up about a party we’re
throwing on Saturday. All you school children can come that way.” Arthur thinks
it’s particularly ridiculous that Tristan would call them children, being only
five years older than them. “Bring Merlin and –um –well whatever else you want
to bring.”
“Beer!” Isolde pipes up
“Brilliant, yes. Bring that too.”
Arthur scratches at his jaw. “Merlin and beer. Got it.”
“And your sister, she’s the hottest girl at school.” Will grins evilly and
Arthur rolls his eyes. He think’s he should tell Will that she’s with Gwaine
but something tells him that wouldn’t Will from trying. Or the fact that she
would probably claw his eyes out if he so much as looked at her suggestively.
He settles on smiling at Will and deciding to let him find out on his own. “And
Vivian will be there. I never heard about your date, did you get off?”
Arthur waves his hand vaguely in front of his face. “Well, she got off. I had
to wait until she left.” Will leans over the couch, eyes wide and attentive.
“She might be fit but I think she might also be possessed.”
Will laughs and raises his eyebrows. “I will preform an exorcism. With my
dick.”
It’s possibly the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard someone say and he
pitches forward in a fit of laughter, a spot of tea soaking through the knee of
his jeans and he notices Tristan has pressed his forehead against the coffee
table, trying not to smile. “Alright yeah, let’s hope it works.”
They spend the afternoon listening to music in the living room while Will
slowly turns the side table into an ashtray and Arthur hates to admit it, but
he sees the appeal to Will and his generally offensive behavior. Arthur even
finds it easy to forget about Merlin for most of the day. While Will and Isolde
play table tennis and Tristan is wrapped up with cheering on his wife, however,
Arthur is painfully alone with his thoughts.
He knows Merlin is mad at him, he doesn’t need to be staring him in the face to
know it, and he thinks of what he’s going to say to him to make it all right
again. Arthur tells himself a myriad of things he believes to be true like
‘He’s my best friend, I’m just looking out for him’, ‘It was convenient, he’s
always laying right there’, and most importantly ‘I’m not into men’. Maybe if
he finds someone at the party for Merlin to hook up with it’ll smooth this
over, and Arthur can find a girl that won’t leave him fending for himself and
his erection.
Arthur fishes his phone out of his bag and deletes the four text messages from
Morgana asking him where he is and if he’s died somewhere on the side of the
road he probably deserves it somehow. He finds Meriln’s name and taps out
‘Party Saturday at T & I’s place’
While he struggles with texting Morgana something rude his phone vibrates in
his hand.
‘Where are you? –M”
‘Tristan and Isolde’s. Will’s here, he’s stupid.’
‘You’re stupid. I’ll think about it –M’
‘No thinking, you have to come, stay over Friday’
Merlin doesn’t text back for what feels like hours and Arthur tells himself
it’s because he’s probably in class being a top notch student like he always
is, and when he finally does he just writes ‘K –M’
#
Friday night Gwaine shows up with Merlin tucked under his arm and an obscenely
large bottle of vodka. He offers it up with his ridiculous smile, holding it
high in the air. “I brought alcohol for the party tomorrow.” He is practically
yelling in Arthur’s face and Morgana comes barreling around the corner. “I also
brought Merlin, for the party tomorrow.” He says suggestively and Merlin knits
his eyebrows together and has to lean back to keep his face from colliding with
Gwaine’s.
When Gwaine kisses Merlin soundly on the mouth Morgana only laughs and pulls
them both inside. “Are you already drunk?” She tugs on Gwaine’s hair and he
grins at her.
“Nothing wrong with a little pre-party drinking.” He slurs and Morgana drags
him away to her room.
Arthur watches them leave and spins of his heels to face Merlin. “I wish I was
on Gwaine’s level.”
Merlin laughs quietly and Arthur feels incredibly relieved to hear it. “I don’t
think that’s always a healthy level to be on.” He shoves Arthur out of the way
so he can get to the stair but there’s a cheeky grin on his face when he bats
him in the face and drags his bag up the stairs. “So why haven’t you been in
school all week, do you have the consumption or something?”
Arthur closes his bedroom door behind them. “No, ‘m not sick, just wanted to
take a little mini break. Haven’t missed a day of school since I broke my arm
when we were six.”
“I know.” Merlin says seriously. “That’s really stupid, why didn’t you say
something to me? I’m supposed to be your best friend you insensitive prick.” He
throws his jacket onto the computer seat before sitting down. “Unless you’re
avoiding me.”
Arthur lets out a dramatic whining sound. “Why would I be avoiding you? I
texted you, didn’t I? And besides I know you’re the most perfect student in all
the world and would keel over and die if you missed a day of school.” He sits
on the floor in front of Merlin “I’ve been forced to hang out with your awful
chav friend because of it.”
Merlin stares at him for a while before he mutters out “You’re stupid.”
“Yeah I know.” Arthur doesn’t mean for it to sound like a confession so he
changes the subject by pressing on his TV with his big toe and handing Merlin a
controller.
Once they’re thoroughly involved in a tournament of Mortal Kombat, there’s a
knock on his door and Morgana yelling “Are you guys naked?!”
“Yes!” Arthur shouts back wondering if she’ll go away. Instead she welcomes
herself in with Gwaine following closely behind her. “I said I was naked,
Morgana, what if I had been telling you the truth?”
Morgana collapses onto his bed while Gwaine crowds himself in front of the
television next to Merlin. “Well you weren’t, and besides” she leans down and
runs her fingers through Merlin’s hair “Merlin is too far out of your league to
be letting you even attempt to be naked around him.”
“It’s true, I am.” Merlin agrees and takes Arthur’s moment of distraction to
pull his characters head off.
Gwaine leans forward so that he can see around Merlin and lets his eye roam up
and down Arthur’s body. “I don’t know, I wouldn’t say no if Arthur was asking.”
Arthur looks up at Morgana and smiles widely. “Gwaine would.”
Morgana rolls her eyes. “Gwaine ‘would’ anything. That’s not an
accomplishment.”
Gwaine nods proudly. Arthur turns back to pout at the screen and grumbles out
“What are you doing in here anyway?”
“We wanted to watch shitty horror movies with you. I know you’re an
aficionado.” She produces a couple DVDs from out of her jacket.
Arthur shares a look with Merlin and groans “I do love horror movies. And these
do have a lot of fake blood.” Merlin fights a grin and Arthur nods. “Yeah
alright, you guys can stay and hang out.”
“So kind of you.” Morgana ruffles his hair.
#
They end up opening and then subsequently finishing Gwaine’s bottle of vodka
and the night finds Merlin with his head in Arthur’s lap while Morgana and
Gwaine make out on the floor. Arthur feels he should be more disgusted with his
sister trying to choke her boyfriend with her tongue but mostly he finds he
doesn’t care. “Gana” He mumbles out her name and surprisingly she hears him.
“Hmmm?”
“Maybe do that in your room.” He shrugs “Please?”
Gwaine props himself up on his elbows and brightens up. “We should have a
foursome.”
“The ratio of guys to girls is really disproportionate if you think about it.”
Merlin rattles off and it’s amazing he remembers what some of those words even
mean with how drunk he is.
“I know I don’t want to be involved in foursome that has my sister there.”
Arthur rubs at his eyes and Morgana agrees quickly, pulling Gwaine to his feet.
“Have fun, be safe, don’t do anything I wouldn’t, blah blah.” He waves to them
as they stumble into the hall in a giggling tangle of limbs.
Merlin looks up at Arthur and smiles “You’re a really understanding brother. I
figured you would want to kill Gwaine or something.”
Arthur buries his fingers into Merlin’s hair, reveling in the softness of it.
“Nah, I don’t really care, Morgana’s smart. Smarter than me anyway.” Merlin
laughs sleepily and it vibrates through Arthur’s body. Sober, Arthur would
probably smack Merlin in the face for agreeing that he’s stupid, but drunk,
Arthur lets the back of his fingers run over Merlin’s face and quietly says
“You’re so gorgeous.”
His mind is to addled with vodka that he doesn’t really register what’s
happening until he’s on his back looking up at Merlin. Merlin puts a wet kiss
on the small stretch of skin underneath Arthur’s ear and the feel of his tongue
makes Arthur groan loudly. He groans even louder when that tongue finds it way
into his mouth and deft fingers find their way underneath his shirt. Arthur’s
never seen Merlin this aggressive about anything in his life as he rolls his
hips down against Arthur’s and yanks roughly at his hair. It feels amazing.
“Arthur” his name comes out as a whimper off of Merlin’s lips and he holds
himself over Arthur on hands and knees. “God, Arthur, I –do you love me?”
Arthur tilts his head and tries to process the question when Merlin shakes his
head and grits out “I don’t care never mind, don’t say anything, I don’t care.”
He yanks Arthur’s shirt off “I know you don’t but please –please just fuck me.”
“Merlin” Arthur’s head is spinning with a mixture of the alcohol and Merlin’s
voice in his ear, begging for the dirtiest things he’s ever heard fall off his
lips. “You’re drunk, you don’t want this.” Just yesterday he would have gladly
flipped Merlin onto his back and fucked him into the carpet because yesterday
it could still be a friends with benefits thing. Yesterday Merlin didn’t ask
Arthur if he loved him.
Merlin grabs Arthur’s face roughly in his hands, his eyes alight with something
Arthur’s never seen directed at him from his best friend before. He’s panting
and flushed with arousal but right in the way his eyebrows are furrowed and
he’s looking at Arthur through his long eyelashes, there’s anger. He presses
his lips to Arthur’s again in a soft kiss that seems misplaced until Merlin
bites his bottom lip harshly. “Don’t pretend like you’re a good fucking friend,
Arthur Pendragon.” He utters the words against Arthur’s mouth and Arthur knows
he shouldn’t be turned on by Merlin’s voice considering the words he’s saying
to him. “You made it clear how little I mean to you that first night you kissed
me.” Merlin sits back to straddle Arthur and rolls his hips hard against him.
Arthur can’t pull Merlin’s shirt off fast enough and he pulls himself up to
lean against the bed, Merlin squirming in his lap. “That’s not –ah –true.” He
bites kisses into Merlin’s collarbone and fumbles with the button on the stupid
skinny jeans he’s always wearing. He wants to tell Merlin that he means
everything to him, that he needs him so badly but instead he tells him “Get on
the bed.”
And Merlin does, naked and spreading himself out across the faded red sheets
while Arthur pushes his own pants down and crawls over the top of him, taking
in the pale white skin just waiting to be marked. Arthur mercilessly shoves his
tongue into Merlin’s eager mouth while he digs through his bedside table,
successfully knocking his alarm clock and a glass of water onto the floor. He
can’t be bothered to think about them right now, or if the water fell on
anything important as he coats his fingers with the lube he had been searching
for. Merlin cocks an eyebrow “I’m shocked you know what to do. Or are you just
winging it and you need me to hold your hand through the rest?” the words are
biting and lack the playfulness they usually hold.
Arthur runs his hand down the cleft of Merlin’s ass and shoves a finger in
roughly, making Merlin cry out and arch off the bed. “I know what do” Arthur
grits out, wrapping his hand around Merlin’s neck and running his thumb over
his Adam’s apple. “Tell me how you want it.” He pants out heavily against
Merlin’s skin, adding another finger in next to the first and curling them
painfully slow inside of Merlin’s body.
“Hard.” Merlin’s voice is broken and shaky but his eyes still hold that
resilience that put them where they are now. “I want you to fuck me hard.”
Arthur adds a third finger and shoves his hand into him so roughly, Merlin’s
body moves up the bed a little and he curls his fists into the sheets, biting
his lip to keep from screaming. Arthur fumbles with a condom while Merlin
grinds himself down on his fingers. He pins Merlin’s wrists above his head and
stares at him, scrutinizing this mixture of hatred and lust on Merlin’s face
before Arthur thrusts into him in one quick, fluid motion. It’s so impossibly
tight and hot being inside Merlin and Arthur buries his face into the side of
his neck as he cants his hips forward with shallow little thrusts.
Merlin digs his fingers into Arthur’s back, blunt nails dragging stinging lines
across his skin, and panting in Arthur’s ear. “Harder, Arthur” His voice breaks
on Arthur’s name and Arthurs pulls Merlin’s hips up slamming into him in a way
he knows will leave bruises on Merlin’s thighs. Arthur hopes that Morgana and
Gwaine are too trashed –or better yet passed out –to hear the moans tumbling
off both of their lips.
Arthur chalks it up to the alcohol or he knows he would have never lasted this
long. He’s never had angry, vicious sex before but he thinks he might be a fan,
and maybe he should just start being a dick to more people, if only it didn’t
making him feel so fucking awful as well. He sits up, pulling Merlin into his
lap and nipping bruises into his skin while Merlin sets a brutal pace for
himself. He keeps saying Arthur’s name, over and over again in such a quiet
tone, Arthur’s not sure if Merlin knows he’s speaking out loud. He buries his
face in Arthur’s neck, breathing hot against his skin and buries his fingers in
Arthur’s hair and whispers something Arthur can’t even ignore in his
drunkenness.
“I love you so much.” And it sounds pained and so, so lost that Arthur stills
Merlin’s hips from rising up. Arthur cups Merlin’s face in his hands, running
his thumb over his cheekbone.
Arthur swallows hard. “What?” he runs his hand gently up Merlin’s side,
noticing for the first time in their tumble just how soft his skin is right
now. Merlin keeps his eyes fixed on Arthur’s chest, hands gripped tight on his
shoulders. “Merlin, look at me. Tell me.” The air between them is drastically
changed, maybe even tenser than it was before, but Arthur is sure that this
feeling is much more important.
“I –“ Merlin has lost all of the anger from his eyes, now they’re just scared
and sad. “I love you. I’m sorry I should –“
He tries to lift his leg and pull himself off of Arthur but Arthur grips his
hips hard again and pushes him down making a groan escape from Merlin. It’s as
if he’s seeing his best friend for the first time, patient and forgiving
towards Arthur when he should have left years ago. Torn apart because, how long
has he been in love with him? How many nights lying in bed next to each other
and just being okay with that? He wraps his hand around Merlin’s neck and
brings him down into a kiss so gentle and innocent it’s a bit ridiculous seeing
as Arthur is still buried deep inside him, and isn’t that just like them to do
everything backwards? “I’m sorry” Arthur breathes the words against Merlin’s
lips between short, soft kisses. “I’m sorry I was such a shit friend. I was
scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“You –of being in love with you.” Arthur sighs out when Merlin pushes him back
gently so that he’s lying flat on the bed and begins to move slowly over him.
Merlin runs his hands up Arthur’s stomach and chest giving a contented hum as
he leisurely rides him. He has his eyes shut, lips parted slightly and for the
first time in months he looks at peace. All of the tired lines around Merlin’s
eyes and the seemingly permanent crease that had formed between his eyebrows
are gone. They say nothing to each other for what feels like hours while Arthur
digs his thumbs into Merlin’s thighs, reveling in how soft and warm he feels
around him. When Merlin starts making small hiccupping noises and his dick
twitches between them Arthur realizes that he really fucking wants to make
Merlin come. He pushes Merlin off of him, rolling him onto his stomach. Merlin
glances over his shoulder at him with a confused look that quickly dissolves
into him crying out when Arthur grabs his hips and pushes into him from behind.
Arthur knows he’s close to finishing and puts all and any energy he has into
slamming into Merlin as hard as he can, reaching around to tug at Merlin’s
dick, leaking obscenely on the sheets beneath them. “Arthur” Merlin can hardly
say his name as he grips the sheets, begging whatever god will listen for
release when finally, finally, Arthur hits that spot inside him that makes him
openly sob and come all over Arthur’s hand.
Arthur pulls out of Merlin while he’s still coming down from his orgasm and
rips the condom off with a speed that will be startling to him later when he
thinks back on it. He strokes himself only a few more times and he’s finishing
in thick spurts on Merlin’s back and thighs. Arthur falls back onto the
mattress, inspecting his work and he lets out a strangled groan. Merlin looks
so beautiful fucked open with Arthur’s come dripping down his legs, trying to
catch his breath in the sheets of the bed.
Deciding that it would be in their best interest to clean themselves up to
avoid being the most uncomfortable they could possibly be in the morning,
Arthur collects his boxers off of the floor and pulls them on, moving to get
off the bed.
Instead he feels a sharp tug on his wrist and he turns to see Merlin holding
onto him, moving to pull the sheets into his lap as if he’s embarrassed.
“Arthur, please don’t go.” And that broken look on his face is back with a
vengeance “please.” Arthur can see tears welling up in Merlin’s eyes and it’s
alarming and Arthur practically buckles at the knees as he tries to climb into
the general area of Merlin’s lap.
He puts his hands on the sides of Merlin’s face and kisses his forehead. “No,
Merlin, god no. I wasn’t leaving you, I was just going to get something to
clean up.” He feels warm tears collects on his hands and Merlin struggles to
pull away from him and press his hands against his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I thought you were going to leave for good. I thought you were
regretting it.”
Arthur feels nauseous knowing he made Merlin like this. “I’m sorry, I’m so, so
sorry. Never again, I swear.” He kisses Merlin quickly and grins at him “I
still want to get us a towel though.”
Merlin let’s out a clipped laugh and nods his head. Arthur stumbles into the
hallway and realizes he’s painfully sober. Literally, painfully, his head is
pounding. He scrubs his hand over his face and curses Gwaine’s cheap vodka when
he runs squarely into Morgana. She’s wearing Gwaine’s shirt and her underwear.
That’s it. Arthur squints at her and at least she has the decency to blush.
“Good night?” He yawns and Morgana attempts to run her fingers through the
tangles of her hair.
“So far.” She shoves a bottle of painkillers into his hand, no doubt on her way
back from getting it out of the bathroom. “You look well and truly fucked,
Arthur Pendragon. Is Mortal Kombat working you up?” she manages her ‘sinister
and pleased’ look even in her state of half drunkenness and rolling into a
hangover.
“Yeah, sure, Mortal Kombat.”
“Arthur”
“Morgana”
Morgana folds her arms over her chest and chews at the inside of her cheek.
“What’s Merlin doing?”
Arthur glances up at the corner of the ceiling behind Morgana and carefully
decides to tell her, “Sleeeeeping?”
“Oh, so if I go in your room to get my movies back it won’t be a big deal,
right?” She’s absolutely delighted with herself, and Arthur’s not sure if she’s
onto him or she thinks he’s just playing along. She makes like she’s going to
Arthur’s room when he grabs her forearm.
“Naked. He’s sleeping naked.” Arthur grits out and Morgana’s proceeding
expression would be comical if Arthur didn’t feel on the brink of an aneurysm.
“Arthur” she searches his face like she can magic the truth onto his skin, “you
slept with Merlin.” It’s not a question and Arthur digs his toes into the
carpet. “Why, Arthur, why would you do that? Do you understand what you’ve
done, you don’t know that Merlin –“
“Loves me? Yes I do, he told me himself actually.” It feels like a personal
victory when Morgana just looks at him as if he’s been taken by body snatchers.
“I think it’s nice that you’re looking out for Merlin, but you really don’t
have to anymore. I’m going to take care of him.” Arthur knows he’s going to
regret allowing Morgana to see this much into his emotional lock box. “I’m
capable of love too, you know.” He’s pouting but the next moment he’s wrapped
up in Morgana’s spindly arms.
“Oh, I’m so happy. You’re such an idiot sometimes, I never thought you would
get it together. I thought you were going to be one of those late in life gays
that finally has a crisis when he’s already married with three kids.” She rocks
him back and forth and it makes his stomach feel a little uneasy.
“Mmmm” he pats Morgana’s back, the pill bottle rattling against her. “You smell
like lemon cleaner.”
She just pats him on the head and says, “Well it’s better than the
alternative.” And slides easily back to her room. When Arthur finally escapes
back to his room with a towel in hand, Merlin is still sitting up with the
sheets draped around his hips like he hasn’t move.
“Morgana yelled at you.” He holds onto Arthur’s forearm as Arthur reaches
around him to swipe the towel down his back.
Arthur quirks and eyebrow, “Morgana always yells at me.”
Merlin pulls on Arthur’s arms until he’s collapsed on top of him. “About me.
She yelled at you about me. You guys aren’t that quiet, you know.”
Arthur kisses his face and wraps him up tightly in his arms, “That’s because
everyone likes you better than me.” He grumbles out, “And because I was a
really fucked friend to you.” Merlin only buries his face further into Arthur’s
neck. This isn’t easy, Arthur can admit that, and he does actually feel on the
verge of panic and cardiac arrest, but he won’t keep doing this to Merlin
anymore. He forces himself not to think about Uther or his footie mates or the
school in general because he wants this more. He wants Merlin in his arms, in
his bed, their bed, for as long as Merlin will put up with his shit. He takes a
deep breath, “I’m having a bit of an identity crisis.”
“I know.” Merlin yawns and rolls onto his back.
“You’re okay with that?”
“Are you kidding me?” Merlin rolls his eyes, “You’ve been having some sort of
crisis since you were four. You used to think you were a dinosaur.”
Arthur hums and folds his hands atop his chest, “I’m still a bit out of sorts
from that.” He feels it’s important to also add, “I’m going to try though you
know. The whole gay thing is a really recent development.”
Merlin grins, “Bi, I mean let’s be real you were all about Sophia’s tits last
summer.”
“They were great tits” Arthur says forlornly. Merlin laces his fingers into
Arthur’s underneath the covers. “Is it okay if we aren’t super public about
this right now? I mean, I think I want to tell my dad before someone else does,
but I don’t think I’m really ready to yet.” He’s terrified Merlin’s going to
collect up his things and storm out the door without looking back.
It’s all much more dignified than that though, because Merlin rubs his eyes
tiredly and tells him, “You know, I had to come out to my mom and I don’t think
I’ve ever been more scared of anything in my life. And she’s nowhere near the
level of Uther.” He steals the good pillow out from under Arthur’s head and
fluffs it up before collapsing on it. “Just don’t keep me a secret forever?”
Arthur does what he can to make the lumpy pillow work for him before he pulls
the covers over him to block out the creeping chill that’s been building up
with his oncoming sobriety. “I won’t” He wraps his arms tightly around Merlin’s
middle and pulls him tightly against him, kissing him lightly before he falls
asleep.
End Notes
     The title was inspired by the song Heartbeats by Jose Gonzales.
     Listen to it here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A20rx8VQnTE
  Works inspired by this one
      A_Promise_Made by Cookie
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